The Inner Wealth Podcast

Ep177. Awareness, Forgiveness, and the Hidden Benefits of Your Every Choice.

• Mike Kitko

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In this episode, we explore the profound idea that there are no truly bad people, only individuals operating from the shadows of their consciousness. Every choice we make, whether productive or destructive, stems from a perceived benefit tied to our internal programming. Using insights from systems like Gene Keys, we examine the journey from shadow states to higher levels of consciousness and self-awareness. This episode challenges you to look inward, forgive yourself and others, and understand the hidden benefits behind your choices as part of your spiritual evolution.

Key Takeaways:

  1. Shadows Aren’t Who You Are: Shadow states are temporary conditions, not permanent identities. They reflect unprocessed pain and programming, not the essence of a person’s soul.
  2. Every Choice Has a Perceived Benefit: Even seemingly destructive choices are made because they offer some form of self-protection or perceived advantage in the moment.
  3. Your Growth is Inevitable: The spiritual journey is about moving from shadow to gift, and from gift to the highest state of consciousness. This evolution happens as you gain awareness and courage to look inward.
  4. Forgive Yourself and Others: Everyone is doing the best they can with their current level of consciousness and awareness. Understanding this fosters compassion and healing.
  5. Replace Old Patterns with New Awareness: As you uncover the hidden benefits behind your destructive behaviors, you can replace them with healthier, more aligned actions.

Notable Quotes:

  • “There’s no such thing as a bad person—only people operating from corrupted programming and shadow behaviors.”
  • “Every choice you’ve ever made was rooted in a perceived benefit, even if it was destructive.”
  • “At the soul level, you are infinite, eternal, and nothing but love. Shadows are temporary distortions, not your true essence.”
  • “Forgive yourself for the choices you made to survive, and give yourself permission to evolve.”
  • “No one wakes up and says, ‘I want to ruin today.’ Everyone is doing the best they can with the awareness they have.”


Music Credit: "What's Left of Me" by Wes Hoffman & Friends


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Mike Kitko is an executive self-mastery coach, speaker and author. He found external success through powerful titles, incomes, and material possessions. He ultimately fell into depression, toxic abuse of alcohol, and the near collapse of his family before he began a journey of internal happiness and success.

Speaker 1:

Do you ever wake up feeling like there's something missing in your life? Do you ever feel the need to escape your business? Are you running your life or is your life running you? I'm Mike Kitko and I'll help you design and create a life so authentic and aligned with who you really are that you'll get excited just to wake up. I'll help you create real wealth, success and freedom from the inside out. Welcome to the Inner Wealth Podcast, where we learn and choose to live inspired each and every day.

Speaker 1:

There are over 8 billion people on this planet right now and I don't believe that there's a single bad person in the world. Now we are in a hot political climate. There's wars breaking out all over the world, there's humanitarian crises everywhere. There's people going to jail every day. There's rapes and murders. There's one bad person in the world, and I'm going to share why.

Speaker 1:

When I started my coaching business, I never knew it would really, it would really turn into a study of human behavior. Now I want to say I'm not a clinical therapist, I am not a doctor. I, I, I have no degrees and no credentials in in psychology, in philosophy, in medical degrees, diplomas, human behavior, psychiatry. I've got none of that. I've got some advanced degrees but they're in none of those spaces. But I never knew when I started this business that it would turn into a study of human behavior and we get to understand people at such a deep level and understand kind of what people are going through and what they're traversing and what challenges and obstacles we all share in common and why we share all these things in common and a lot of it. I can point back to the soul sciences, astrology and human design and gene keys and I worked deeply with a lot of people to to understand their soul sciences and I've done a couple episodes on that now. So hopefully if you've listened along, you'll you're starting to dive into the soul sciences a little bit more. And if I can ever help you with that, just reach out and you can. In the in the show notes it says text me. Just go ahead and drop me a text. It'll come right to my phone and we'll be able to jam. But I've done a lot of work with the soul sciences. Hopefully you are too.

Speaker 1:

And what you see in the soul sciences and in the study of human psychology, human behavior, is that everybody is just living their own unique path. Now I'm not saying that there's not pain and suffering in the world. I'm not that delusional. There is certainly pain and suffering. What I'm saying is there's no bad people. There's just people that are living out some shadow behavior.

Speaker 1:

There are people on the face of this planet walking around that are in pain, that are operating in the shadows of their levels of consciousness. They are fear-based, they are dealing with angst and they're dealing with agitation, and they're dealing with stuff that's happening in their mind and body, maybe that they don't understand, and they're dealing with agitation and they're dealing with with stuff that's happening in their mind and body, Maybe that they don't understand, and they they take this out on other people and this is what creates crime. Like there's. There's not one criminal that didn't think at some point that they were justified in their crime, whether that be a murder, whether that be a bank robbery. They in some way shape or form deep, deep in there, the recesses of their thought processes thought processes not in their being, but in their thought processes. They found a way to justify their behavior and their activity, and it's that justification that came from their shadows, and that shadow and their behavior is different than who they are, Because at the soul level. You can call it at the soul level. At the soul level, they are the incarnate of the divine. They are infinite and eternal and abundant and they are nothing but love at the soul level. But in the mind something has been corrupted that has caused them to justify behavior that is harmful or hurtful to themselves, to other people, to society. Something inside of them, some program code, something, some script, some narrative has gone a little upside down and they're now operating from their shadows and it gives the appearance that they are a bad person or an evil person.

Speaker 1:

Now, in Gene Keys, when I study the Gene Keys, I'm a Gene Key lover, and in the Gene Keys, gene key lover. And in the gene keys, which is a, a system, a spiritual system to understand your purpose, your path, what, what you're here to work on and what you're here to work through in your, in your human form, there's three elements to every aspect, and that's the shadow, the gift and the city. And the city is S-I-D-D-H-I city, so it's a Sanskrit word. But in each aspect, in each behavioral archetype, there's the shadow state, the gift state, and then the civic state. And in this lifetime, whether you know it or not, you are moving from shadow to city. You are working, you are actively working to move from the shadow state to the gift state and from the gift state to the civic state. And this is the spiritual path and the spiritual journey, spiritual evolution, this is the change that's taking place inside of you, inside of your mind, inside of your body, inside of your awareness, inside of your emotions, inside of your belief system. This is the spiritual path and the spiritual journey.

Speaker 1:

And when I say that people are not bad, what I mean by that is the person isn't bad, but they are operating from a place of their shadows and they haven't quite moved into their gift yet. And with each shadow there contains a seed of a gift. Now, I've watched many, many people move from shadow states to the gift state. I've even had the pleasure of watching some people move from the gift state to the acidic state, which is a very high level of awareness and high level of consciousness. But most people on this planet are operating unconsciously, unaware of the aspects of the shadow inside of them, and they behave and they act out of that state and they just think that's their personality. But it's not. It's a temporary condition, a temporary path of evolution that maybe they've just gotten stuck into and they've identified it as themselves and maybe they've built beliefs around the shadow state and perspectives around the shadow state. They've built built beliefs around the shadow state and perspectives around the shadow state. They've built an identity around this shadow state and they wake up every day to protect that shadow state because they're not aware that there's a gift if they let the shadows go and if they understand the shadows.

Speaker 1:

Now, if you take a look at you know history, sometimes there's a leader and the leader does some egregious things and is maybe their belief system is built on judgment and false identity and scarcity and just so many toxic and torturous states of ways of being. Think of Hitler right story, this narrative in his mind about Jewish people and about people of color and about people that were medically not nobody's perfect, but that they were damaged medically in some way, shape or form. And he held opinions and beliefs and he held this belief that we should be rid of all those people who weren't a singular type of being. And you can think that Hitler was the reason, but if you really look, Nazi Germany there were millions and millions and millions and millions of people that bought into that narrative, that bought into that belief system that supported, that cheered. So it wasn't just Hitler, and you can see this all over the place Pol Pot, Ho Chi Minh, you can see.

Speaker 1:

Look at some of the Soviet leaders, right, Joseph Stalin. There's been millions and millions of people that have died from these authoritarian leaders that had world domination somewhere in their psyche and it was just operating. They were operating out of their shadows, they were operating out of their belief system and deep in the recesses of their mind and their thoughts they felt they were justified in their belief system. They were not bad people, but they did have a corrupted belief system, Because if they ever let go of that belief, if they ever let go of that shadow state, then they would have risen in their level of consciousness, and it was just their belief system that was faulty. It wasn't them and it was just their belief system that was faulty. It wasn't them. Their person wasn't the person that was that you can see and listen to, that you can, that that is talking and walking. The person is not corrupt, but the software inside is corrupt and this is why there's no bad people, there's just. There's just bad software.

Speaker 1:

Now I want to advance this, this conversation, just a little bit, Okay, and this message just a little bit, so I want. That's my belief that there's not one bad person in this world, but there are people with corrupt operating systems and corrupt apps running in their mind and body, right. But I want to take this a step farther, because I had a little epiphany when I was on my run the other day, had this intuitive hit that I got, and I see more clearly than ever right now is that you have never chosen anything but what was beneficial for you. Human beings only choose things that are beneficial. Now that also sounds as delusional as there's no bad people, because you can look at the self-destructive choices that you've made in your life. You can look at the choices to lie. You can look at the choices to steal. You can look at the choices that you've made that were egregious in nature, in some way, shape or form. Maybe maybe you're like me, physically, mentally, emotionally, abused your family for a period of time. Maybe, you know, maybe you hurt somebody in a way and and you just you made a choice to, to do something that that put somebody else in harm's way. You, you made a choice to do something, something to hurt somebody in some way, but I would offer you the fact and the thought, the perspective that every choice you've ever made was done from a beneficial place.

Speaker 1:

Sometimes, when our operating system is corrupt and our operating system is damaged and there's some faulty wiring in our operating system or the apps that's running in our mind and body, what happens is there's pain in there and there's there's some kind of suffering. There's some kind of intolerable circumstance that that we look to avoid at all costs, and the spiritual path requires going inside and analyzing this your operating system, analyzing the app, the spiritual, the spiritual journey. The spiritual path requires getting inside of your mind and body and understanding at a deep level what's in there, what beliefs you hold, what perspectives, what were your experiences, what are your memories, why do you make certain choices? And until you get courageous enough to look inside of you and understand your belief system and understand your perspectives and your choices and why you think in certain ways and why you feel certain ways, why you show up in certain ways, until you're courageous enough to really start analyzing this, this is not going to make sense to you that everything you've ever done has been for a beneficial purpose. Beneficial purpose, that's only about you, not about anybody else.

Speaker 1:

So I remember when my kids were growing up I would react in a certain way If they didn't show me a certain level of respect. And I mean when I would say. When I say I would react in a certain way, I mean I would blow the fuck up and I would like scream and holler. And I guarantee you they're still dealing with the ramifications of those actions and in some cases they're probably going to have to defend themselves or expect someone to show up in their life that blows up on them, like their dad did, the person who was supposed to help them stay safe the most, who did just the opposite in a lot of cases. But they might attract people into their life that are just like me back then, very reactive and very, very outspoken and very harsh.

Speaker 1:

And you know what, when they do, when they do, if they do, they're probably going to protect themselves, and some of that protection might be lies, might be untruths, might be keeping secrets, might be not fully showing up, might be being codependent, might be untruths, might be keeping secrets, might be not fully showing up, might be being codependent, might be just putting on a false facade, might be just showing a character, might be just putting on a mask, might just be avoiding contact, avoiding connection, avoiding, and although they might say that they want to tell the truth and that they want to be honest or they want to show up, they might say these things, but then, in the moment when they feel the pain of a past that I've gifted them, they do the exact opposite, and maybe they lie, or maybe they avoid, or maybe they escape, or maybe they keep a secret. And although they continue to say, maybe they say I want to be truthful and I want to be honest and I want to live in integrity, In the moment when it really matters, they make the choice to be the opposite and that is beneficial for them. Why? Because they're protecting themselves in some way. They're protecting themselves from me. They're not protecting themselves from the present moment, they're protecting themselves from me, and what I mean by that is in that scenario, I conditioned them to shut down, I conditioned them to lie, I conditioned them to keep secrets. And in that situation, in that situation, in that narrative, they're operating in their highest possible nature in that moment. And if they could do better, they would. Now, when they lie to someone, when they keep secrets, when they don't show up, when they look to escape, when they look to avoid. Of course they wish they could do better, but maybe in that moment they just don't have the awareness, the ability, they don't have the level of consciousness, they don't have the level of courage to really do the opposite, because there's so much pain inside of them. As soon as they even consider stepping into that place of integrity, their body starts to shut down and their fear hormones just start to rage. So the benefit that they would derive from continuing on with that same behavior would be self-protection, because they don't know how to do anything else. Luckily, my girls don't go through that, but I hope that scenario is insightful that in that moment when they're out of integrity, it's for their own benefit, because they're trying to protect themselves and they don't know how to protect themselves in a different, more productive way, so they use a destructive way. Different, more productive way so they use a destructive way.

Speaker 1:

I work with a lot of real estate investors and a lot of real estate investors who make cold calling their primary source of marketing. They'll get a hold of a list of people that are looking to sell their house or that are maybe going through foreclosure, and they'll start making calls or in some cases, some of them won't. They'll say they want to cold call and they'll say that they want to make 50 calls a day, but then they'll end up distracting themselves every day and not doing it and they'll say, yes, I want to make the calls, but when it comes time to make the calls they'll find something else to do and then oftentimes they guilt and shame themselves and they don't make the calls. But they keep saying they want to make the calls. The reality is they're choosing something that's beneficial to them and the reasons might be because maybe they've been rejected in the past and just any sense of getting rejected or hung up on causes them to retrace their steps through that old rejection and their eyes aren't open to that and they don't know another path. They don't know how to live in that state.

Speaker 1:

Maybe it's that they say they want to earn some income or create some wealth, but maybe when they were a child their mom and dad talked shit about wealthy people. So now even the prospect of making money causes them to feel a sense of shame and guilt and separation from their parents, from that conditioning their parents believe that wealth was greedy and evil, the source of evil, and maybe even thinking about picking up the phone to create some wealth in their life, to create some income, to create some financial margin. Maybe it causes so much pain and stress inside of them that as soon as they think about picking up the phone, they go and eat something instead, or they go and channel surf, or they go and get on TikTok and they keep doing the same behavior because it's beneficial, because it's keeping them from being rejected, and it's only beneficial because they don't know another way. But if they did know another way, they would execute it and they would demonstrate it.

Speaker 1:

Maybe maybe it's that when, when you you say you want another client in your business, you say you want another customer, but the last 10 customers, the last 20 customers, the last 20 clients, you you haven't enjoyed working with them, you haven't engaged, you haven't attracted the right people to work with and you don't know how to operate in this way that attracts the right clients so that you can have a joyful experience. And the last 20 events you dreaded and you didn't enjoy and they were full of pain and suffering, and you're struggling to just enjoy your vocation, your career, because you keep attracting the wrong people, because you don't know how to attract the right people. And then you find yourself not making calls, not marketing, not making offers, and you say you want new clients but you don't do the things that it takes to get new clients. The reality is you don't want new clients and the benefit you get of stopping marketing, even though you say you want more clients, the benefit you get out of it is that you don't have to experience the dread and the pain and the suffering of working with the wrong people. So there's a hidden benefit to that thing. It's not about the client. It's not about your family's wellbeing, it's not about anybody else. It's about your inability to attract the right person, your lack of knowledge. In this scenario with my daughters, it's not that the person deserved to be lied to. It's not the person deserved to be abandoned. It's not the person deserved to be that the other person deserved them to keep secrets. It's that that was the only protection mechanism they had to persevere and preserve their own health, their own safety.

Speaker 1:

Every choice you've ever made, no matter what, has been beneficial and just about you. It could have been productive or destructive, but it was beneficial in some way when you just look at it through the lens of the what's in it for you. If you're acting right now in the direction of your dreams, it's because you're connected to the benefit of the action. But if you're not taking action in the direction of your dreams, it's because you're more connected to the benefit that the inaction gives you. But it's just about you, it's not about anybody else.

Speaker 1:

Every choice, every decision you've ever made whether it be overeating, over drinking, whether it be overworking, whether it be underworking, whether it be avoidance, whether it be attachment you felt that there was some benefit and for that you can forgive yourself. When you analyze it, what's the decision that I made? What consequence did it cause? What benefit was there to that consequence? And that's just positive in nature and just about you. There's a benefit. That's positive in nature and just about you.

Speaker 1:

If you do the inquiry, what's the choice? Do the inquiry. What's the choice, what's the consequence, what's the positive benefit? That's just about me. If you run that inquiry, you'll see that every decision, every choice you've ever made was positive in beneficial nature and just about you in some way, shape or form. And it only works every time and it only works every time when you get to the root of what benefit you are deriving from whatever is happening in your life and you can see if you continue to need to operate from that place and if the answer is, you no longer need that protection mechanism. You no longer need to guard yourself. Maybe you've learned how to attract new clients you no longer have to or new, aligned clients you no longer have to avoid clients that you don't want. When you can replace that, how you derive that benefit in a productive way from a destructive way, then you could advance through action and through production, productive action in the directions of your dreams and your desires. You can stop using the avoidance techniques and the destructive positive benefits but they're positive benefits in some way shape or form their positive benefits in some way. Shape or form.

Speaker 1:

Guys, I would encourage you to understand that you have always operated from your highest level of consciousness and highest level of awareness. Sometimes it wasn't great, Sometimes it was downright awful, Sometimes it was awesome, but you've always operated from your highest level of consciousness and awareness. You've always did the very, very best that you can, just like everybody else on the planet, and that's why there are no evil people. There's just people operating at their highest level of awareness and consciousness, and sometimes that's just really really low. Forgive yourself, Forgive others, Demonstrate love, letting others voluntarily evolve. Understand that everybody's operating on their natural path and everybody's working through their shadows.

Speaker 1:

You may need to continue to protect yourself from people that are operating with some operating system or some app that's corrupt inside of them, but please understand that if they could fix that corruption, they would fix it in a snap. They don't want that operating system, they don't want their app to be corrupted, but somehow it is. Forgive them for that. They're operating, want their app to be corrupted, but somehow it is. Forgive them for that. They're operating at the best of their ability and as soon as they can operate at a higher level, they will, Because no one has ever woken up to say I'm going to fuck today up in the greatest way I can. Everybody's always woken up to do the very best they can. Today, sometimes it's just not very good. If you enjoyed what you heard and you want to learn more, go to wwwinnerwealthglobalcom for more tools and resources.