The Inner Wealth Podcast

Ep241. Part Ten – No Escape Hatches: Why 99% Commitment Equals 0% Commitment (with Angie.)

• Mike Kitko

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In the final installment of the Unbreakable series, Mike and Angie reflect on what it really takes to build a resilient relationship over decades. Drawing from nearly 27 years together, they unpack the reality that strong partnerships are not built through perfection or compatibility, but through commitment, growth, and the willingness to weather every season together.

This episode explores the powerful idea of living without an escape hatch—removing the mental back door that allows doubt and “what ifs” to sabotage a relationship. Through honest reflections on past chaos, personal healing, and the lessons learned along the way, Mike and Angie reveal why true partnership requires both people to keep both feet in—even when winter inevitably arrives.

Key Takeaways

1. 99% Commitment Equals 0% Commitment
If there is still an escape hatch in the relationship, it changes the energy you bring to it. Full commitment means both feet are in.

2. Relationships Move Through Seasons
Every long relationship experiences summers and winters. The strength of the partnership is measured by the willingness to weather both.

3. Your Partner Isn’t Meant to Be Everything
Healthy relationships allow space for each partner to fulfill different needs through friendships, interests, and personal outlets.

4. People Grow Through Messy Experiences
The lessons that ultimately help others are often born from lived struggle, not perfection.

5. True Partnership Multiplies Strength
When both partners stay committed to growth, the relationship creates something bigger than either person alone.

Notable Quotes

• “Living with an escape hatch means you’re never truly committed.”

• “Ninety-nine percent commitment equals zero percent commitment.”

• “There’s no summer without winter.”

• “The perfect match doesn’t meet all your preferences—the perfect match helps you not need your preferences to be met.”

• “We fail our way to success. We don’t succeed our way to success.”

Call to Action

If this conversation resonated with you, make sure to subscribe, rate, review, and share the Inner Wealth Podcast so these conversations can reach more people who are ready to build an unbreakable life and relationship.

And if you want to explore these concepts at a deeper level, Mike’s latest book Inner World, Outer World is available now on Amazon.

 Available now on Amazon Now. Click here!

👥 Message Mike or Angie Directly
mike@innerwealthglobal.com angie@innerwealthglobal.com

Music Credit: "What's Left of Me" by Wes Hoffman & Friends

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Final Part And Playful Banter

SPEAKER_00

I'll help you free real well to examine freedom from the inside out. Welcome to the Inner Wealth Podcast, where we learn and choose to live inspired each and every day. Hey guys, welcome back to the 10th and the final uh part of our 10-part series about being being unbreakable in yourself and in your relationship. And I hope if you've followed along, I hope you've enjoyed this as much as I have. Because I just said to Angie right before here, I'm I'm kind of kind of sad to see it end.

SPEAKER_01

You did.

SPEAKER_00

And Angie didn't like share that exactly.

SPEAKER_03

Well, I just I I said it so our relationship as Mike is the serious one. And I'm a little bit more I'm the more the spontaneous kind of outgoing. And I said, it gets a little too serious for me. He's the teacher, and I'm that's not who I am. I'm that's not who I am at my at my best, I guess. I mean, I I definitely do in mastermind help facilitate some things, but not a lot. And this is this man could go on and on and on forever. So it was like it gets a gets a little bit too too serious for me, but it's been fun. We've had some fun, fun moments. And just want to note that we have another stowaway down here this week, like we did before with our cat uh oh, it's called our Nova. With our cat Andy. Um, so if you hear something crash in the background, that's just the cat, don't worry about it.

Teacher vs Dancer: Embracing Differences

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, and uh so let me defend myself a little bit. I love teaching, yeah, and I think that's why I've got a natural instinct for teaching. I'm good at it. And I'm really good at it. And the um in my corporate career, the only thing I ever enjoyed was coaching and teaching. So, and and and I led, but I the things that I was best at that I enjoyed the most were developing people and developing teams. And that all came through leadership and teaching and coaching and and aligning, helping people see a higher octave of themselves, right? And higher octave of what we could be as a business. And that's really what what I'm good at. It's really what I'm drawn to. So back back in high school, now now I just remember back in high school, there was a time where some of the guys in the class were were having fun. It was like they're kind of in the beginnings of rap, right? You know, you know what I mean? Early 90s was when rap was really it started in New York in the late 70s, but it was like that was when it was really the Cypress Hill and the freaking, you know, some some of these, I don't, I don't know. Not Cypress Hill. Yeah, you're public anime. How about that?

SPEAKER_03

Public anime and hip hop really took off in the 80s. 80s is one of the things. See, it's all the same. No, but see, this is the thing, these are the things that it's all the same.

SPEAKER_00

Hip-hop, rap, it's all hip-hop, hippity hop. It's all the same. And the guy's in the class used to joke where I I don't know, it was it's it's stupid. It makes no sense now. But I'm the rapper, I'm the dancer. So so somebody wouldn't like rap and the other guy would just dance. But anyway, like like I'm the teacher and you're like the dancer.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, well, I can actually sit here and give you some uh hip-hop education too, because you got to go back to Africa Babata. And I I was fun fact about me, I was really, really, really into hip hop and and the culture as I was growing up. I was always drawn to it. And so like I used to deep dive into some of the super early, early, early rap artists. Yeah, and and and so for you to bring out Cypress Hill, I'm like I don't I don't know.

SPEAKER_00

Public enemy was like the the kind of where where where everybody was back then, it was like um yeah, the east west, you know, the east coast, west coast. Whatever that was later, that was the mid-90s, but you know, really uh I remember public enemy being young boy, you know, that that had clocks and Africa symbols and stuff like that. So um anyway, I'm the rapper and I'm the dancer. I'm the rapper, I'm the dancer. I don't know, it's just stupid. This is a memory.

SPEAKER_03

Um you're the teacher and I'm not the teacher.

SPEAKER_00

But we were driving down the road the other day, and we have this in Angie, look, uh she's wired differently than me, and and there's no right and wrong. But you know, the way I and I'm gonna call, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say this from my center perspective, and you can dispute me, but I am right about this one. The way I jockey the radio when I'm right when I'm driving, the way I jockey the radio is I'm always thinking, do I like this and does Angie like this? And if it's a I like this, but Angie doesn't, I turn. If this is an Angie likes this, but I don't, I leave it on. That's part of that's some of the martyr in me, right? Some of the some of the overgiver and whatever. But Angie's like, if I don't like it, I'm gonna turn it. And and and some sometimes she's like, I'm I don't like that song. And it doesn't matter if I like it or not. She's like, I wish I had that.

SPEAKER_03

Well, I'm gonna dispute that because when you're you leave Michael Jackson on in the car, and I am I'm at the risk of you have never said that you the other day, as as no, sir, the people are listening because I said I've never enjoyed Michael Jackson.

SPEAKER_00

You uh and you yeah, you you've never stated it.

SPEAKER_03

You've never stated I don't listen to kids. You will stop it on here.

How We Navigate Music, Control, And Old Patterns

SPEAKER_00

Anyway, anyway. So this is the joy of Mike and Angie is we're so different and we're so unique, but somehow it all works. And sometimes it doesn't feel like it's working, but it really is, because it, you know, that the intention underneath the ball of it is just uh, you know, keep building together. Um but yeah, we have differences of music and differences of opinion, differences of how we how we you know we navigate the radio and my radio navigation rule is driver, driver choice. And then but in your darker days, when you're in your darker days, that's unfair to bring up. But but there's a certain conditioning that we're all working through with that is you that in your darker the driver controlled it when you were driving, and the passenger controlled it when you were a passenger. So yeah, there's so that there's still some of this, some of this reg residue and in the residuals that we're working through. But either way, the point being is we're different people, we're unique. Um, I'm very serious, I'm a teacher. Um, she's a lot lighter, a lot more levity, a lot more fun in her life.

SPEAKER_03

And I I feel like I enjoy my life and I have fun, but you do, and you enjoy your silence and you enjoy your stillness, and I honor and respect that. And it doesn't, it causes no harm to my life. It's just I have a separate so and I don't want to say separate social life because that's not true either. I just have you kind of do, but I have separate circles of girlfriends, so you know, I'll you know, I have my my master, my girlfriends, and my my best friend friend group, and then I've got another friend group that you know that that my my blind friend dates that I found. So, like all I've got just different groups of friends.

SPEAKER_00

That's that's all and I love that because you need that. You you thrive on that, you need it. If that's not there, then there's gonna be a missing piece for you. Right. And I think that's the important part is throughout hopefully over 10 episodes, 11 with the introduction, hopefully you understand that I'm here to help her become more of who she is, not to make her a match for me and in my mirror image. So, you know, when she's out with her girlfriend sometimes, which which happens, not doesn't happen a lot, but when you're out, I'm sitting here hanging out, watching, you know, with the boys and with the pets and watching a Viking show. Because I love history, yeah, right. So we we watch some history together, but I watch all history when when Angie's not around. The point is, is I want her to go out and be that. She needs it, she gets charged up and she gets fueled. I don't. I have, you know, with with uh Brian, I have my church on Sundays. We spend a couple hours on the phone together every week, or when he's in town, we spend time on the patio or wherever at breakfast, and we kind of hang out and we connect. And that's my that's my social fuel. But there's also a lot of serious topics that we discuss in that in that container. It's not it's not a light container. It's what most people would think that that, you know, that was that was a heavy way to spend socialization. But for us, that works. Yeah. For for me and Brian, that works, and for you and your girlfriends, that works. That's the important part of all of this to understand is that we're not built the same. And we need to honor each other's differences and our uniqueness.

SPEAKER_03

Honor and respect them and and allow the other two to have that part of their life. That's right.

SPEAKER_00

And not interfere with it or judge it, or even when it does not serve you. Yes. That's the important part. You going out with your girlfriends doesn't serve me. It I don't, there's no benefit for me. But I still want you to do it because the benefit for me doesn't matter. It's the benefit for you. The topic for today, and that's a that was a long intro. But it was it was kind of a fun intro. But the intro or the the topic today is um letting go of the you I'm not sure if you can hear the cats, but the cat, but uh, she's down there.

SPEAKER_03

Um she jumps up on my lap, you'll see her.

Social Fuel: Different Needs, Same Team

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, the the topic is living without an escape hatch. Living without an escape hatch and living without an escape plan. And and the the reason this is such a powerful uh topic for me is because I know that for the first 16 years, I had one foot in, one foot out. There was always that what if, what if, what if, and and always having that foot out. And I really believe having that foot out caused a reason to need to have the foot out. So I brought the energy of what if into the relationship. And I think that from my perspective caused some of the disconnect, it caused some of the insecurity, you know, that we talked about before that you were feeling in the relationship. There was part of me that brought that energy, and the energy that we bring, are the relationship's gonna respond to the energy that we bring uniquely. And for me, and I know you did too, because uh the threats were weren't just one way, right? But but I know I had one foot in, one foot out. And when when we really started putting this thing back together, I put my foot, the other foot in. Yeah, it's like let's fucking do this.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, both of us, yeah. We we we both did. And and definitely, I mean, for me, it was always reckoning, not knowing subconsciously, not because obviously none of we didn't know any of this back then, but yeah, like you're ready to go. And I'm like, oh shit, he's gonna leave me, just like I knew he was gonna leave me.

Main Topic: Living Without An Escape Hatch

SPEAKER_00

So yeah. Well, in in in the interwealth community this morning, um, we we had a conversation about priorities. And one of the members was talking about how his vision is to build the business, his business, and then but he's got this mom with a medical condition and a dad who's trying to take care of mom, not doing a great job, and that those two cause a lot of times where he can't focus on his business. But he's really, really frustrated about the the you know, not being able to get any traction with the business. And and when, you know, because he's because he said he talks about distraction. And I just asked him a simple question. I said, uh if you could only pick what one priority uh, your your parents or your business, which one would it be? He said, Oh, my business is my priority. Like, okay, let's get really clear about this. If you could only pick one, your business or your family, your parents, and in order to serve one, you had to lose the other one. Which would it be? And he's like, I at first he kind of fooled himself and said I would choose my business. I said, uh your choices and your decisions are telling you where your priority is. Don't look to your heart and don't look to what look to your look to your choices and your choices and your your your the decisions that you're making. He's he could be focused on his business and his mom has a problem, an issue, and he completely takes his energy away from the business and puts it on his mom. Now, with that, which one is his priority? His parents. And he kind of refused to see to see that. And I said, No, your choices are telling you where your priority lies, not your mind and not your body, your choices. Look, look at the the the choices that you've demonstrated. And I said, now with that said, where where are your priorities? He said, I guess it would be my parents. I said, exactly. Because I said, for years, you were my priority. The girl, you and the girls were my priority, not me. You and the girls are my priority. And I showed up like that, no matter what, whether there were handcuffs, whether there was overdoses, whether there was freaking withdrawals, whatever. I stayed true. And then one day I went, fuck this. I am my priority. And that's when I filed for divorce. That moment when I made that decision, that showed my priority stack shifted. Right. And that's when everything started to get better.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

If we look at our choices and our decisions, then then we'll see where our priority lies.

SPEAKER_02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

And our priorities used to be on propagating conflicts.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, I never thought, yeah, I never thought of that as a priority, but again, that's just all we knew. That's all we knew.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. Because it always defaulted to that. It always came back to that in some way, shape, or form.

SPEAKER_03

It always ended up in the D-word.

SPEAKER_00

Only a thousand times. And I think the biggest regret for me is our girls heard every single divorce word. Like they heard all the the anger and the threats, and they were in that environment and the guilt, the shame, and the anger, and the the blame, and all the hostility, the infant, some of the infidelity. They heard all this shit. We exposed them to it. And their little bodies now have absorbed that and have to live in that. And now it's their job to let it go.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. Oh, and and the only the only saving grace that I can give myself and that, myself, is just they also had the opportunity, they saw that, but for sure. They they had the opportunity to see us heal too. They they got the opportunity to see us through it. So you know, they they know that that change is, you know, people say, people never change. Well, don't ever tell my kids that because I'll tell you that's bullshit. Because they've watched, they've watched their mother go from like an absolute rock bottom addict to where I am now, and our relationship go from chaos and throwing shit at each other and kicking each other out and walking out the door and leaving the middle of the night and all that stuff to seeing us together every single day and not wanting to be just we want to hang out.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, we hang out.

SPEAKER_03

We just we want to hang out.

SPEAKER_00

So I'm glad that they got to see they got to see that duality of and I'm not gonna lie, it sometimes it's uncomfortable for them because they're still they they they were they were reared and they were they were raised in that chaotic environment. It's it's it's difficult for them to see us in a state of peace. And whether what what little sense that makes, it's it's kind of a natural part of their path. So the the peace, the peace still hasn't settled in. There's still some conflict in there that they're that they're looking for and expecting. But, you know, we've basically taken away, and and for someone like me, and I'll I'll just share, for someone like me, um, I'd love to hear your perspectives too, that grew up in a family where the divorce word was thrown around a lot by my father was married three times, my mom was married twice, my parents threw around the divorce word a lot as well. So that's where I learned it, right? That's just kind of how marriage is. For me, feeling like you would, you are committed no matter what season it is, even if it all falls apart, that it's been really, really tough for me to embrace and accept that that it's not about our stuff, it's about me. That's that is a that has been a what do you mean? I'm I'm not I'm not following so all I've ever wanted in my life was to be loved and accepted.

SPEAKER_01

Okay.

SPEAKER_00

And you know the battle that I've had with authenticity, with showing up as me and being okay, being me and and and whatever. For someone who's faced that my whole life, right? Chiron and Aries in the 12th house, that wound, someone who's faced that my whole life trying to sit with and understand that someone would be there, is there for me because of me, and would be there regardless of circumstances. That's a really, really struggle-ish pill to swallow.

SPEAKER_03

Interesting.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. I I don't even know how to respond to that because I don't think you need to. No, I because because for me, I have no to me, it's uh easy to accept that. Oh wow, this person is this person, I know this person's going to be with me through everything. Everything like and I have no problems accepting that. Yeah, I have Aries, everybody loves me.

Priorities Show Through Choices

SPEAKER_00

He's here for me. I'm the best. I'm like, yeah, no, I cannot relate to that. Well, one time I was having a conversation with Brian Schroeder, and I said I was talking about shame and being ashamed of my body and being ashamed of, you know, whatever. He's like, I can't even comprehend that. We all deal with different things and something that somebody else would is dealing with or has dealt with in their life, I would look at it and go, just don't be an idiot. That's not true.

SPEAKER_03

Well, that's like how you used to approach me when I would get into like severe depressions and yeah and anxiety. Just just stop feeling that way. Just just stop.

unknown

Just stop feeling that.

SPEAKER_00

But we we all have wounds that we're working through. They're all unique, they're all differing. I I'm watching Angie on this real estate journey. Okay, now she just got a contract for her first listing.

SPEAKER_03

No, I'm not sure.

SPEAKER_00

No, no, first, first uh buyer, okay?

SPEAKER_03

Home under contract.

SPEAKER_00

Home under contract. I don't know the exact lingo lingo. Getting ready to get a listing. Okay. Now, she's never done a transaction before. She's never ever done anything in real estate uh agency before. Investing, yes. But all this is new to her. Every single step of the transaction is brand new to her. They don't teach you, they can't teach you all this stuff in real estate coaching, in real estate school. They can they can go over it like at a micro level, but they can't go into it at the depth that that you're gonna learn it and they're gonna have to face it. They it's like sipping out of a fire or out of a fire hose, trying to swallow the ocean. It's impossible. Then this awesome, talented, amazing woman doesn't understand the next step for a transaction and gets really, really brutal on herself. Yeah. Brutal. Like she should know everything about everything before she even needs to know it or she's ever experienced it. And watching that, I'm like, you're an idiot. You're not supposed to know what you're doing. Because you you don't. You're not supposed to know what you're doing because you don't.

SPEAKER_03

Because you've not done this before.

SPEAKER_00

No, but in 10 years you'll be teaching somebody and you'll be going, hey, you can't know all this stuff. You've never done it before.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, Virgo Moon tells me that actually everything should be perfect and correct, and any all questions are stupid questions, and yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Perfection is the only is the only outcome, right? And and for me, I'm like, no, just fuck it up and figure it out. Like, like just it I feel that we fail our way to success. We don't succeed our way to success. We we make mistakes so so we can learn. If we got everything right, we never learned anything.

SPEAKER_03

Well, the mistakes are being made. That's good.

SPEAKER_00

That's good because it's the people that are doing nothing that are ones that are perfect, that aren't making mistakes.

SPEAKER_03

But I did I did say to Mike today, I said, Yeah, I the brokerage I'm with now, it's it's like I don't feel stupid asking questions. And even though I'm like, this might be something that that is like common sense and I don't feel stupid. And I'm really grateful for that. For people that don't make me feel stupid.

SPEAKER_00

You're you're not stupid.

SPEAKER_03

I'm the only one making myself feel stupid.

SPEAKER_00

But you're the only one going, listen, you idiot. You shouldn't like you, you shouldn't have this figured out. You've never done this before. And and there's going to be another season of life that we don't know how to traverse together, right? It might be my challenge, it might be yours, but we're figuring it out together. And if you don't allow those uncertain seasons of life to come and go without questioning or or without you know, without keeping the lock on this, on the exit match, right? Yeah, then there's always gonna be a you know a need to worry about the what ifs.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, that lock, yeah, that that lock is. Is is locked and locked and trickle lock.

SPEAKER_00

And the key or the the the accommodation is gone. We have no idea. And there's not a big uh there's not a set of bolt cutters big enough to cut it off. No. But we've got to be willing to experience the the warmth of summer together. And I'm saying this from a not not an actual season, but we've got to be we've got to be willing to experience the warmth of summer together and enjoy it, but we also have to be willing to experience the coldness and frigidity of winters because there's no summers without winters.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah. And I feel like we we've kind of we've been in that winter for for a bit now, in and out of it. Not to a level that is detrimental, but we've definitely been in a space, both of us have been just trying in emotional like downward spirals and not really spiral too. Yeah, I thought I kind of stopped I stuttered there because it was like well that wasn't it. We were just just down, like trying to figure things out. And you know, I as I'm pulling myself out, I still kind of see you going in and out of it, but still here.

SPEAKER_00

And well, it's interesting that uh Jupiter went went retrograde in Venus back in November. Yeah, and today it went direct.

SPEAKER_01

Okay.

SPEAKER_00

And Venus, or not Venus, I did I say Venus, but Jupiter in Cancer went retrograde in November. Jupiter's abundance.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, right.

SPEAKER_00

Cancer is prosperity. Cancer is emotions, and it's also cancer is also a connection and and fe and feeling valuable and and giving and receiving, right? And today it went direct. So there's a lightness that's in the air, and I've heard it on like three calls today.

SPEAKER_01

Oh wow.

SPEAKER_00

Right? So it's already recognizable. But the point being is um if if you always if you even have an escape hatch, then don't be surprised when there's marital problems or problems in your relationship. Because 99% commitment equals zero percent commitment, right? Think about that. 99% commitment means you're not committed because there's a chance.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

And in a it's been 25, this is we're getting ready to celebrate our 25th anniversary this year.

SPEAKER_03

25, yep. 25 married.

Regret, Repair, And What Kids Witness

SPEAKER_00

25 married, 27 together. There's 0% chance that you you don't experience a winter or five in 27 years. And on our community call this morning, she's down here just screaming for mom. On our community call this morning, uh and I I can only share from my perspective, right? Angie's been through her own challenges with me, but on our community uh uh call today, I said, look, there were there were about 10 years where there were handcuffs, there were uh there were um court cases, there were uh mental ward visits, there were rehab facilities, there were it was just fucking hey. And it that was a winter, a day-long winter, and this feels like a little one.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, right.

SPEAKER_00

So, and I know, I know there's gonna be summer again, spring and summer again, right? But uh yeah, and after this winter, there's gonna be another one at some point.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, but yeah, this winter was nothing compared to that one.

SPEAKER_00

We just had we went right from summer to winter, yeah, and it went from really hot to really cold like that. And it's like, who turned off the heat? There was not a acceptance of summer turning into winter. That was like, we're who turned off the who turned off the sun, literally, and uh yeah, that was a little, but maybe we need to experience that so we can see our bonds.

SPEAKER_02

Well, it was obviously all for something. There was there was a lesson there for everything.

SPEAKER_00

And I'm gonna share why I think some of this stuff happens because we've got a lot to teach, and unless we experience it, we can't teach. No, yeah, right?

SPEAKER_03

We can't teach from our messiness, messiness, not mastery.

SPEAKER_00

And holy shit for two people to have lived messy lives. And uh I think that's me and you in a nutshell. Yeah, but I I do believe that God doesn't give you a whole lot of challenges if you don't have a whole lot of value to deliver to the world.

SPEAKER_03

Okay, okay, I'm done.

unknown

I know.

SPEAKER_00

Can you please can we turn up the temperature just a little bit? Just give me a little nudge. But maybe, you know, my business has been in a stable mode for for months after a lot of a lot of growth and and then we we you know, compression, it's been stable. Maybe this is your time to shine. Yeah, maybe maybe maybe mine is plateaued and stabilized so that I can go into maintenance mode, so I can watch you go into building mode. Maybe that's what this next season is about.

SPEAKER_01

Maybe.

SPEAKER_00

And if that's okay, does that mean that I've failed in any way?

SPEAKER_03

No.

SPEAKER_00

Does that mean that there's something wrong with my business?

SPEAKER_03

No, not at all.

SPEAKER_00

If it allows you to start to build and shine, you think maybe there might be some positive intention to that.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, but it's also okay for both of us to be.

SPEAKER_00

But if that's the case, and that's really the master plan, we're doing anything wrong?

SPEAKER_03

No, we're not doing anything wrong, but it's okay for, and I but I think that's that's a piece too, is that it is okay for both people to be shining at and maybe the acceptance of that might give us the ability to shine.

SPEAKER_00

So when you fight reality and you fight what is, all you're gonna do is add a whole lot of negative energy to the mix. But anyway, a little bit, you know, it's a little bit about the the escape hatch. So again, not looking to create the next winter, but it's coming. You know, are you strong enough to to weather it even before it gets here?

SPEAKER_01

Yep.

SPEAKER_00

That's one plus one equals three, right? 99% equals zero percent commitment. I think it's a it's a powerful message. We we are we are awesome in that.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, and this was this was a lot of fun.

SPEAKER_00

What was your favorite part of this? I know it was too long for you. First of all, next time it's gonna be like three three episodes, but um what what are your highlights? Like what what first of all, what's your takeaways? What what did we put into the world?

SPEAKER_03

I think that we just I I think we put it out there that just like I said before, change is possible. Like if if if you're in a place where it feels like you and your spouse aren't aren't clicking, you know, it is possible. Like it's not that doesn't mean that it's that's it's over. We we're we're proof that yeah and people can make it their some dark shit together and come out and and grow together.

SPEAKER_01

For sure.

SPEAKER_03

Um but favorite part of this, just all of it. It's just it's been been a lot of fun.

SPEAKER_00

Um great job being specific.

SPEAKER_03

I know I'm because they're there, I can't think of any one moment.

SPEAKER_00

You're not really good with favorites.

Accepting Unconditional Commitment

SPEAKER_03

I I'm not. No, I'm really not. I mean, even if you ask my favorite band, you're gonna get a flowchart of genre, subgenre. So no, just the fact that we did this together and that I that I actually started out a couple of episodes and stepped out of my comfort zone and did a did a couple things, but you can't put me on the spot with stuff like that. That's the thing. I need time to think. I don't motorized, not motorized throat.

SPEAKER_00

Right. I can put you on the spot. I will continue to put you on on the spot. And by me continuing to put you on the spot, you will get better at being on the spot. Okay. You will.

SPEAKER_03

So I can't use my non-motorized throat center as an excuse, even though that's right, even though you say that that's why you can talk.

SPEAKER_00

Because here's because here's why uh here's why I'll do that, because you're built for this. You are built for this. This is this is what you were here to do. Not just not just real estate agency. That's great too, but you're here for this. You were built for this. That's your your Leo Rise. You're here to be seen, you're here to shine, you're here to share, you are here to be in the spotlight. And I and I think it's probably a little bit of time for you to be in in front of the spotlight or in front of the curtain for me to kind of step aside.

SPEAKER_03

Like, yeah. This was definitely stepping outside of my comfort zone for sure. Yeah. 100%.

SPEAKER_00

But now you feel you can do it, right?

SPEAKER_03

A little bit. I mean, but is it something I enjoy? Is it something that I would I would continue to do on my own? Like I have no desire to sit in front of a computer and talk at a computer.

SPEAKER_00

Well, you're a lonely cat. So I'm not I'm not suggesting that you're gonna come down here and start recording your own bike.

SPEAKER_03

I'm not a lonely cat.

SPEAKER_00

You're not, yeah.

SPEAKER_03

I'm not a lonely cat.

SPEAKER_00

But you're not afraid to be on be in front of that green dot anymore.

SPEAKER_03

Right. And that's yes, that's why I said stepping outside my comfort zone. I think that was my favorite piece is it showed myself that and the consistency of doing it every week because I don't know how you do this every single week. I have so much admiration and respect for that because that's a lot. I so mad props to you for continuing this for over two years now. Almost four. Has it been that long?

SPEAKER_00

240 episodes.

SPEAKER_03

Oh my gosh.

SPEAKER_00

August will be four years. Jeez, yeah. Every week, every single week without missing one.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, I I don't know how you do it. So I'm very proud of you, and very this just gave me another. I respected that before, but that just took it to another level, knowing that I mean, I scheduled lunches accidentally on our recording days, and I was like, oh shit, I forgot to record a podcast and like damn, can't do this because gotta record podcasts.

SPEAKER_00

Did I tell you why uh why I'm able to do it? Because I have a motorized throat. Yes, and that's a reason with yours is an example.

SPEAKER_03

Oh shut up. Oh, how convenient.

SPEAKER_00

We're talking human design. How convenient. Human design. I'm a manifesting generator, so I have a motorized throat, and she's a generator, she doesn't have a motorized throat. And all that means in in the soul sciences and in human design is that she can have a thought and she can process that thought. But getting it out clearly is difficult for her. And it's not, you know. If she takes long enough, she can articulate it, but it doesn't drop quickly and come out naturally.

SPEAKER_03

Right. Easily, I have to pause. Yeah. I it takes me, which is why I don't feel very good or confident of this because it takes me a moment to pause, formulate a thought to where it comes out in a cohesive sentence. So but I've done it, I've I've done it 10 weeks in a row now.

Learning In Real Estate And Loving Imperfect Tries

SPEAKER_00

You have, and but again, this is gonna turn into like a uh a Mike and Angie coaching each other session. And and and but maybe you get to see how how I uplift her all the time from a coaching way. And now right now she's open to it because she's on camera, right? She's not gonna embarrass herself or me. But um great speakers, yeah, if somebody asks a question, great speakers, the ones that are really, really secure in being speaker in speakers, if they don't know the answer immediately, they go, let me take a second to think about that. And they're really comfortable in that, and they rest in that, and they'll they'll literally sit silent and and think, hold on, let me let me think of how I want to answer this. And they'll process it. And then they'll speak it because they're really secure in the fact that I don't know that it's okay not to know it, and it's okay to take some a couple seconds to process it before I spit something out. And instead of pretending to have it all figured out or making something up, right, they actually like are good in their comfortable in their skin and saying, This is how I'm designed, this is what's happening right now. It's okay. Let me work with it instead of trying to pretend that it doesn't exist. And that's it. That's it for you, right? You don't need to spit it out right away, just go with it. Yeah, and if you need a pause, take a pause. But you're natural at this, you're built for this. And I love this. And I love people seeing you in the world. All right. Um, my favorite part is that I got to sit next to you for 10 weeks. So there's never enough time. So I love, love, love doing these with you. At first, when we were just doing them on, you know, when we were with travel, that was fun. Yeah. But you've gotten a lot better. I got to see you get better at this. And just sitting next to just unpacking some shit and asking you some questions and getting your thoughts. You don't let me coach you or you know, in the house, and you don't let me ask deep questions in the house. So I kind of use this as a mechanism to really get in there and to really explore. Because you don't let me do it at the at the You don't. You don't. When we're up there, you're like, you're you're doing your thing and you're whatever.

SPEAKER_03

And if I asked you some deep thought, you're like, well, I usually don't, I I'll I'll have to think about. And that's when that's when I take the time to say, you know, I I don't have an answer for that right now.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03

That's that's it. It's like, it's not that I don't want those conversations. It's I I need to think about it. And it takes me a lot longer than let me pause for 30 seconds. Yeah. There would be 30 minutes of silence on this podcast if I really took the time that I needed to take to organize some of my thoughts, especially when it comes to things like this. Because, and then my the way my brain works is it'll formulate a thought and then it'll go, oh no, then it'll go deeper and it'll go deeper. And that's why it takes me so long. So ask me a question in the morning and I'll have an answer for you by the end of the night.

SPEAKER_00

I love having deep, deep, deep, deep, deep, super deep, super meaningful conversations to understand the existential part of life.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Right. And I don't think that you're jamming.

SPEAKER_03

It's not, but like I said, to have a deep question, give it to me in the morning, and I'll have to answer by night.

SPEAKER_00

Right.

SPEAKER_03

I just don't have the processing ability to have them in a conversational, continuous conversational thing, because you'll pose a question to me or something, and I'll think about it, and I'll continue to think about it and continue to think about it. And then that, and then I'll, I mean, I've come to you several times and said, Oh, you know what, this just hit me and I'll I'll I'll bring something up. But I've probably been stewing on that for probably 30 days at that point on that one thought.

SPEAKER_00

That's a good point.

SPEAKER_03

So it's not that I don't, I don't possess the ability to have those in a in this moment type situation. It's give me something to ponder. And once I have the thought formulated, then I can come back and read.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. And this is the difference between you and me. And I think all of this, I kept this going because we're just showing our differences. Yeah. And how how different we really are. Because the part of me that loves church with Brian is the part that keeps diving deeper and deeper and deeper and keep asking each other these existential, meaningful, super deep, super profound questions. And and and I use that word existential, that because they really are existential conversations. That is my fulfillment.

unknown

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

That is what I love. And then I go up to Cyburgs with you and Kara, and you guys are singing and dancing and being silly together. And it's like, that is your fulfillment.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

And this my fulfillment is going deep with somebody. And I don't get that from you, but I get it from somebody else. I don't need to get it from you.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

The the dancing, the singing, the that the what all that silliness, you need that in your life.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

But you don't need it from me.

SPEAKER_03

Right. And I can't, and I don't expect that from you. And I think that's the thing.

SPEAKER_00

I think that is the important part. You no longer expect it from me, and I no longer expect what I love from you. I just, we, we have our we have, we get filled up differently by different people.

SPEAKER_03

But I think we give each other a we were able to provide a little bit. Like we did our we did our dancing a couple weeks ago. You did that with with me. Yep. And then you will, you'll ask me a question. Man, I wish I could remember that one thing, one day I came to you and I I dropped something out. And I had been thinking about it for months, and I cannot remember what it is. And I damn, I wish I could remember it.

SPEAKER_00

Is that the one where and I can't remember what it was, but I went, oh my God. Like it blew my mind. Holy shit, that was big.

SPEAKER_03

Yeah, and I can't remember what it was, but it came from a conversation that we had probably had three months ago.

Seasons Of Marriage: Winters And Summers

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, I can't remember what it was, but it was big.

SPEAKER_03

And yeah, so that's how so I'm able to provide that at a small level. Like you're able to do the same in small doses for me. Now we'll go and we'll have fun with our sports bedding tonight and together, and it's something we both enjoy.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. Yeah. A lot, a lot of words to say your spouse is never going to be or your partner is never going to be all things that you that you feel you need in your life. It's are they the right person to work through all that with? Yeah. Right? Because man, they're the perfect match doesn't meet all your preferences. The perfect match helps you not need your preferences to be met.

SPEAKER_02

Oh, I love that.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. Me too. I just thought of that. I've never thought of that before.

SPEAKER_02

That's very good.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. I love you more than I love you meeting my preferences.

SPEAKER_01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

That's it. Preferences. Preferences puncture piece. Right. Keeps coming up, guys. Um, I love that. So that is gonna put, we're gonna put an end to this series. Next week, I'll be back on my own, sitting in front of the green light by myself, being completely neglected and ignored and abandoned by my wife. We'll be back in the zone and we'll do another 5,000 before we do another series. That's not true. Um, but I'll I'll just keep continuing to add value because I love this. I love this. I love sharing this with the world.

SPEAKER_03

Awesome. Well, thanks again for wanting to do this together. I love you. I like doing things together.

SPEAKER_00

All right, guys. Um, again, next week we'll just get back to normal schedule and uh keep serving. All right.

SPEAKER_03

I'll be back.

SPEAKER_00

You will be back. Love y'all. If you enjoyed what you heard and you want to learn more, go to www.innerwealthglobal.com for more tolls and we go to the city.